April 7, 2005

HAIR TODAY
Hello everyone out there. I have some news, not of the soccer kind, but of the parenting genre. My son Cameron, who was one of my favorite characters in my book, It's Not About the Bra, did something while I was out of town doing my new job of sideline reporting/analysis for the MLS at the DC United vs Chivas USA game at the Home Depot Center at CSDH. What did he do, you are wondering? Well, before I go any further, you know from my book (and if you don't, GET THE BOOK!) that I take parenting very seriously. I try to do my best to listen to what Cameron is saying, both verbally and non-verbally. I want him to know that I care about him and am trying to allow him to make responsible decisions in his life. I attempt to do this with the help of my husband (my father of the year candidate AGAIN), using my parents' guidelines when I grew up, other parents close to me, through research in parenting magazines, and really, any other daily event that I stumble onto (I believe every situation is a learning opportunity) as well as watch he and his friends interact with one another. So, as I was saying, something happened when I was gone. He got a haircut.

Now, that may be a bit anticlimactic, but it was a BIG deal in our house. Why?

I always thought when I was a younger parent that I wouldn't be bothered by how Cameron would do his hair, mainly because we used to, on a regular basis, color it (from blue to bleach blond highlights), but also because I never thought that how your hair was could predict who you were on the inside, your attitude or how well you did your studying, or the way you interacted with others. This is where the parenting part came into play. Because as time went on, and Cameron's hair got longer and longer, I got more and more obsessed and concerned. I am not sure when my anxiety reached its peak, but all of a sudden I realized that I was doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do. I thought his attitude was changing. I thought he had become less interested in his studies. I believed he was less open to sharing information with his dad and I.

When I had a chance to bring it up to him, mostly when his friends were around, I would, in a joking manner. But when I was alone and thinking about it, I wondered, where did my attitude come from? Why was I feeling like appearances could cause these questions I was having? It's not that I didn't like the hair, because it was "growing on me" (no pun intended - okay, maybe a little one) but like his buddy Brendan said, "if you just used shampoo once in a while, maybe it would help." We all got a good laugh out of that one.

Now the hair is short again, and I have realized that hair doesn't make the person. Cameron is up to his same tricks, on the field and off, and as I parent I have learned a valuable lesson. Look deeper into a situation. Don't take anything at face value, and NEVER (this is the hardest part) react emotionally. Take a deep breath, look at all the angles, talk things out, make sure you have perspective and then come to conclusions. So, I want to thank Cam for giving me that gift.

He doesn't know I am writing this, so shhhhh. No, I am going to tell him. I want him to know that being up front is always the best, even though it can make us nervous. Now that I have shared that with you, I want to do a contest, which I am not sure is possible, but I am going to try anyway. Charlie, the genius behind the scenes of our communication, should be able to figure it out. I am going to show you some photos, and I want you to vote for the long or short hair. Only vote once, because otherwise it will mess it all up. Let's say we give it two weeks, and then see what we have come up with. This is going to be fun.

1. Long hair, side part	2. Long hair, combed front	3. Long hair, tough guy	4 Short hair

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